The Six Attributes of Courage

Courage is something that everybody wants — an attribute of good character that makes us worthy of respect. From the Bible to fairy tales; ancient myths to Hollywood movies,our culture is rich with exemplary tales of bravery and self-sacrifice for the greater good. From the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz who finds the courage to face the witch, to David battling Goliath in the Bible, to Star Wars and Harry Potter, children are raised on a diet of heroic and inspirational tales.

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Yet courage is not just physical bravery. History books tell colorful tales of social activists, such as Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, who chose to speak out against injustice at great personal risk. Entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney, who took financial risks to follow their dreams and innovate are like modern-day knights, exemplifying the rewards and public accolades that courage can bring. There are different types of courage, ranging from physical  strength and endurance to mental stamina andinnovation. The below quotes demonstrate six different ways in which we define courage.Which are most relevant to you? In the last section, i present an exercise to help you define and harness your own courage.

(1)  Feeling Fear Yet Choosing to Act

“Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' 'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Fear and courage are brothers. — Proverb

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid. — L.Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Being terrified but going ahead and doing what must be done—that's courage. The one who feels no fear is a fool, and the one who lets fear rule him is a coward. ― Piers Anthony

Courage is about doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. Have the courage to act instead of react." — Oliver Wendell Holmes

(2) Following Your Heart 

“Passion is what drives us crazy, what makes us do extraordinary things, to discover, to challenge ourselves. Passion is and should always be the heart of courage.” ― Midori Komatsu

And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement speech, June 2005

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.
 — Soren Kierkegaard

“It takes courage ... to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ― Marianne Williamson, "Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of 'A Course in Miracles'"

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3) Persevering in the Face of Adversity

When we are afraid we ought not to occupy ourselves with endeavoring to prove that there is no danger, but in strengthening ourselves to go on in spite of the danger. — Mark Rutherford

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. — Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them — Orison Swett Marden (1850-1924)

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the   day that says I'll try again tomorrow. — Mary Anne Radmacher

“Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.” — Mark Twain

(4) Standing Up For What Is Right

Sometimes standing against evil is more important than defeating it. The greatest heroes stand because it is right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives. Such selfless courage is a victory in itself ― N.D. Wilson, Dandelion Fire

Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes — Maggie Kuhn, Social Activist

From caring comes courage. — Lao Tzu

Anger is the prelude to courage. ― Eric Hoffer

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(5) Expanding Your Horizons; Letting Go of the Familiar

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. — Lord Chesterfield

“This world demands the qualities of youth; not a time of life but a state of mind, a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetitefor adventure over the life of ease.” ― Robert F. Kennedy

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. — Anais Nin

(6) Facing Suffering  With Dignity or Faith...

 “There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” — Frank

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. — Aristotle

Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage. — Jean Anoulh

A man of courage is also full of faith. — Marcus Tullius Cicero

Courage-Building Exercise

For this exercise, you will need a notebook and pen, as well as a quiet, uninterrupted space in which you can reflect.  

Beginning with the first definition of courage, "Feeling Afraid Yet Choosing to Act," answer the following questions:

Think of a situation as an adult when you felt afraid, yet chose to face your fear?

(a) What did you observe, think, and feel at the time? (e.g., "I saw the rollercoaster and felt butterflies in my stomach").

(b) What did you or the people around you say, think, and do to help you face your fear? (e.g., "I told myself that if little kids could go on it, so could I").

(c) At what point did your fear start to go down? How did you feel afterwards?

(d) Now think back on a situation in childhood in which you faced your fear. How was it the same or different than the first situation?

(e) Finally, think of a situation you are currently facing that creates fear or anxiety. What are you most afraid of?  (e.g., being fired if I ask my boss for a raise).

(f) Now, is there a way to apply the same skills you used in the two earlier situations to be more  courageous this situation. Remind yourself that you have these skills and have used them successfully in the past. What mental or environmental barriers stand in the way of using these skills? How can you cope with or get rid of these barriers?

Repeat this exercise over the course of a week, using each definition of courage above. On Day 7, come up with your own definition of courage that is most meaningful to you and repeat the whole exercise using this definition.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201208/the-six-attributes-courage

21 - 30 of 50 Life Secrets and Tips

1. 21. Utilize ‘The Burning Method.’

   Whenever a fear or worry or complaint comes to mind, close your eyes and imagine writing down the thought on a piece of paper. Then proceed to light the paper and fire and watch it disintegrate. Even better, actually write it down and burn it. You won’t have any problem ridding your mind of the thought after doing this.
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3. 22. Travel. 

   Anyone who has ever gone anywhere will tell you that traveling is one of the most exciting and life-changing activities that you can do. Observing a different culture will expand your mind while making you further appreciate the life you already live. This goes back to becoming an explorer: this world is your jungle so go explore! Who knows, maybe you’ll find a place you love so much that you decide to move. Imagine the positive repercussions a new environment could have on your life.

4. 23. The Rubber Band Method

   This is the third and final way to rid yourself of negative thoughts (hopefully by now you have figured out that this is very important!). Place a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against your skin anytime a negative thought finds its way into your head. This operant conditioning technique associates a slight pain with negative thoughts like Pavlov associated food/salivation with the sound of a bell. Sounds a bit cruel at first but it only stings for a second, I promise. Plus the outcome, having only positive thoughts, far outweighs a little slap on the wrist here and there.

5. 24. Learn to be unaffected by the words of others.

   Most people get very upset when they are called negative names by others, but there is a simple trick to overcoming this. Here it is: If I went up to you and called you a fire hydrant, would you be upset? Of course not. Obviously you are not a fire hydrant, you are a human being. The same concept applies to when someone calls you something that you know you are not. They are foolish for saying such things, so why would you react with such anger? The only exception is when someone calls you something that is true! In this case, you should thank them for alerting you to a weakness, one that you can now work on changing.

6. 25. Read “Zen and the Art of Happiness” by Chris Prentiss.

   This book will give you the knowledge and instruction to be happy at all times regardless of the circumstances. Yes, this sounds like an oversimplification of happiness, but I assure you that this book will change you in an amazing way.

7. 26. Develop the ability to forgive.

   Forgiveness is something that most people fail miserably at even thought it’s so simple. Grudges only bring more misery to those who hold them and prevent good relations with the target. YOU makes mistakes all of the time so why not have mercy when other do? Remaining angry feels horrible while forgiving someone brings a refreshing sensation to the mind and healing to the relationship.

8. 27. Be the person that makes others feel special.

   Be known for your kindness and sympathy.

9. 28. Learn to lucid dream

   or to realize when you are dreaming so that you can control your dreams. Sleep feels good, but it’s rather boring and unproductive. With lucid dreaming under your belt, night-time can be even more exciting than when you are awake. You can do anything: fly, travel to other planets, party with a celebrity, get intimate with your dream boy/girl, etc. Many lucid dreams have also reported being able to speak directly with the subconscious during dreams by demanding to be taken to it after becoming lucid. For those that know a thing or two about your subconscious, that is a BIG deal.

10. 29. Visualize daily.

    It has been said and proven time and time again that what you focus on is what you get. If you complain all of the time, you will run into more of the things you complain about. The same goes for good things like health, wealth and happiness. So spend some time in the morning imagining yourself achieving whatever it is that you currently desire. Focus is key in this exercise, so choose a quiet environment where you won’t be disturbed. If you’re having trouble focusing and continually find that your mind has wandered to something else, read about meditation in the following life tip

11. 30. Meditate everyday for at least 20 minutes.

    In this modern world where everyone is so connected to everything else via cell phones, TV and internet, most people rarely enjoy the beauty of silence. The ability to quiet your mind and relax your body is an art and skill that everyone should develop. Simply sit somewhere, preferably in nature, and focus on your breathing or try to think about nothing. This is going to be extremely hard at first! You might find it boring or just plain impossible to think of nothing, but you will get better and you will learn to love it. Post-meditation, you will feel extremely clear-headed and.. well, just plain wonderful. The only way to really understand this sensation is to try it.
12. http://highexistence.com/life-secrets-and-tips/

Don't Forget That Children Grieve Also

November is Children's Grief Awareness Month. Many have never heard of such and have no idea of the impact that loss has on children. During my many years in the cemetery business, I would often ask, "How are the children doing?" and the response was usually something along the lines of, "Oh, they are doing okay, better than we are doing." That might be what we think, but not necessarily true.

                                           Source:https://news.liv.ac.uk

Children are very intuitive and connected to our emotions. When they see the sadness, they will often suppress their own sadness to not make us feel worse. Unfortunately, holding their emotions of grief and loss inside may not manifest until later in life, their teen years, or even adulthood. Many adults suffer from existential grief and only receive support when they are able to talk about what happened or did not happen during the loss of a loved one.

As adults we often feel we are shielding the children from such painful emotions and events by not sharing the reality with them, or even worse, by giving details that are untrue. When we give false details of a loss to a child, and they obtain the truth later in life, it creates negative or even harmful reactions. Grief in itself is a difficult subject to talk about, let alone talk about it to a child. Many questions arise. Should I tell them? Should they go to the funeral? What should I tell them or what part should I not tell them? At what age should they know what really happened? Will they understand? There is no rule book or standard set to answer these questions, but when a death has occurred that directly or indirectly affects your child, please don't avoid the conversation.

Just the other day while having lunch with my five year old granddaughter, she started to tear. When I asked what was wrong, she replied, "I miss great-grandma." She was only 3 ½ years of age when my mother died, but as we chatted she recalled so many memories. Don't fall into the belief that our children can be left out of the grieving process because we "think" they are okay, or even too young to understand. Just as adults should get support to do the grief work, our children need support too. These are the ones who most often suffer in silence. There are support groups, organizations, online resources, and grief professionals that can help you.

The National Alliance for Grieving Children is an excellent resource to find information on children's grief and National Children's Grief Awareness Month. Let's not forget our beloved children.

As a bereavement care consultant with over 15 years experience in the death care industry, Dora Carpenter offers personal and professional development training in life transitions, grief, and fear. She is an author, speaker, coach, trainer, and mentor and has been recognized by the National Association of Distinguished Professionals as a professional in her field. More about Dora Carpenter at http://www.doracarpenter.com/the-grief-corner.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dora_Carpenter/863203

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How To Overcome Fear - Dani Johnson

We all need an anti-fear strategy - what is yours?

Fear Says Stop! Faith Says GO!

As I was walking this morning I decided to do a mental exercise. I closed my eyes as I walked a familiar path. While my sense awareness told me that there was nothing around me, after a small period of time, an immobilizing fear overtook me and demanded that I stop walking. The demand was so great I had to really fight it, not to stop. It was like my body was under its grip and was intent on stopping.

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Fear was powerful! Fear of walking into something. Fear of the unknown, even though the path was familiar. Fear of not being able to see my surroundings. But something else was there too. Faith! Faith said listen to your gut. Listen to your heart. It is well. Keep walking. You know how this turns out. Turns out faith was right. I continued to walk and I was surrounded by nothing but peace.

Lesson learned: Fear immobilizes! Fear says stop. Faith says keep walking. Faith is an unyielding energy. Faith is always right!

Listen to your heart. Don't allow fear to stop your growth. Don't allow fear to dominate your faith. Don't allow fear to control you. Fear is a negative but powerful energy. It will cause you to miss out on every good thing in life. While it feels real. It is truly false evidence appearing real (FEAR).

Faith is real! Faith brought everything into this world that is. If not for faith nothing would exist that exist. What if everyone had given in to fear? What if Henry Ford had given up? What if Bill Gates decided it was impossible! What if Mary Bethune Cookman had given into the inferior thoughts? What if Martin Luther King Jr. had been afraid of death? What If Jesus Christ had decided the pain of the cross was too much. If fear had prevailed, then the world as we know it would not be.

Faith is a positive force that will always stand the test of time. Trust your faith.

The following are three ways to overcome fear.

Visualize your success

See yourself at the finish line. While I was working on both my masters and doctorate I would often sit for a moment and visualize myself walking across the stage. I saw the color of my graduating robe for my doctorate. I saw the three stripes on my robe sleeves and I saw myself receiving my diploma. Whenever I starting to hear the self-doubt voice in my head I would visualize that moment. Ironically, when it happened it was just as I had visualized it.

Speak positive affirmations into your life

Our fear and self-doubt constantly reminds that we are not good enough. There is a constant chatter in our head that says you can't. It is extremely important that you speak positive things into your life to counteract this paralyzing fear. Write down several positive affirmations that speak directly to your situation. Repeat those affirmation every day, several times a day.

One of my favorites is I am strong, powerful, healthy, loving and harmonious!

Surround yourself with positive people

To achieve your goals sometime you have to change your surroundings. Sometimes your friends can be your downfall. Sometimes you have to change your group of friends. If you struggle with detaching yourself from your friends you don't have to go cold turkey. Start slow by finding other support groups or joining networks in your local area that supports your growth. Invite your friends along. If they choose to go for the ride. Great! If they don't, choose YOU. Choose yourself a few times a week. Set aside the time to network and join positive groups for you. You will find fear leaving as you get around people that are making progress and achieving their goals. Pretty soon success won't seem as unreachable as you start checking off your goals one by one.

Tonya White Johnson, DBA is an author, business owner, career coach and inspirational speaker. For more inspirational articles, poetry, and resources reach out to Dr.Tonya White Johnson at http://www.tonyawhitejohnson.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tonya_White_Johnson/2209625

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How to Overcome Fear

Brendon's got it sussed - how can you help yourself today?

Are You Secretly Judgmental Of Others? Why It’s An Important Clue About Your Inner World

Do you notice that you often secretly judge others?

For example, your sister tells you about a new car she bought and you think, She can’t possibly afford that car on her salary. She’s so irresponsible about money.

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Or your partner leaves his dirty dishes in the sink before heading out to meet his friends and you think, He’s so lazy and sloppy. It drives me bananas.

Throughout the day, every day, you find yourself silently criticizing others. My co-worker at work has gotten scatter-brained… my neighbor is too nosy… my friend is too self-absorbed with posting selfies on social media…

What does this all mean? Are you surrounded by people who don’t have their act together?

Is society just falling apart? Or is this a clue about something way deeper and way more fundamental about YOU?

How Your Relationship With Others Brings Up The Next Biggest Thing You Need To Learn About Yourself

When we judge others or feel our “buttons being pushed” by the things they say and do, we may actually be projecting our feelings onto others.

We are accusing others of the very things we disown or reject about ourselves.

Here’s how it works…

Let’s say you have a fear of rejection that stems from something far back in childhood.

More than likely, you’re unaware of this fear. You haven’t yet acknowledged it. Or you know about it, but reject that it’s an issue.

Your subconscious mind is aware of it, though. And that part of your mind will always seek opportunities to work out this old issue. It will lead you into situations where you can bring that fear into your awareness.

In other words, you will enter into relationships with people who will “trigger” that fear or unacknowledged emotion inside you.

You will attract a relationship where your partner will withdraw, act cold, make plans with his or her friends instead of with you, have a hobby they love that doesn’t (or can’t) involve you, etc.

Instead of causing you to face and accept your fear, their behavior will cause you to be secretly judgmental or critical.

You don’t think, Hmm, I’m feeling afraid that he’s going to abandon me and I’ll be alone again.

Instead you think, He never spends time with me, he’s off having fun instead of fixing these things around the house, he’s wasting money playing golf all day when he should be saving money and spending the day with me.

Another example – let’s say that you consider yourself a neat, tidy and financially conservative person. You keep your home and car clean and you never spend more than you make.

But deep down, you’re really someone who wishes they could forgo responsibility for a while, kick up their feet, and be self-indulgent for a change.

However, you don’t want to admit that to yourself. It’s just not something you accept about yourself, for whatever reason. Maybe in childhood you were rejected for being that way.

Your creative mind will actually draw you into situations where you are around people who seem sloppy, irresponsible and flaky.

And instead of admitting that you’re a little bit like them, you will find yourself secretly complaining about them.

What Do You Need To Accept About Yourself In Order To Love Yourself?

When you don’t, or can’t, acknowledge your feelings or accept something about yourself, it’s a sign that deep down, you don’t love yourself.

And if you don’t love yourself, you’ll never feel completely at peace with yourself and the world around you.

You’ll always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because YOU think you’re less than perfect.

Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you’ll never be able to be fully loved by anyone else, either.

How This One Breakthrough Can Change Your Whole Life

There was a time in my life many years ago when I so badly wanted love and acceptance, but all I did was criticize my (ex) wife and accuse her of being nit-picky and too sensitive.

I had several other unhappy relationships in my 20s and 30s before I met Katie. I thought women were too critical and too obsessed with talking about feelings. I didn’t fully believe them when they said they loved me or wanted me to be happy.

The truth was, I was out of touch with my own feelings. I wasn’t “sensitive” enough to what my mind and heart wanted and needed. Therefore, I projected those unacknowledged aspects of myself onto others.

I was secretly judgmental.

It wasn’t until I had a major breakthrough in my life where I finally learned how to love myself that all that changed.

I met and fell in love with Katie, lost 100 pounds, and exploded my career. I had discovered something transformational.

That’s why everything that Katie and I teach is rooted in the fundamental concept of loving yourself first.

Source: http://www.heartsintrueharmony.com/m/content/a-big-clue-that-you-dont-love-yourself.html

How Successful People Think

So, how do you think?