Navy SEAL Training - Self Confidence Mission 1: Have a Positive Attitude

Sometimes you just have to get hard-core on YOU!

The Six Attributes of Courage

Courage is something that everybody wants — an attribute of good character that makes us worthy of respect. From the Bible to fairy tales; ancient myths to Hollywood movies,our culture is rich with exemplary tales of bravery and self-sacrifice for the greater good. From the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz who finds the courage to face the witch, to David battling Goliath in the Bible, to Star Wars and Harry Potter, children are raised on a diet of heroic and inspirational tales.

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Yet courage is not just physical bravery. History books tell colorful tales of social activists, such as Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, who chose to speak out against injustice at great personal risk. Entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney, who took financial risks to follow their dreams and innovate are like modern-day knights, exemplifying the rewards and public accolades that courage can bring. There are different types of courage, ranging from physical  strength and endurance to mental stamina andinnovation. The below quotes demonstrate six different ways in which we define courage.Which are most relevant to you? In the last section, i present an exercise to help you define and harness your own courage.

(1)  Feeling Fear Yet Choosing to Act

“Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' 'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Fear and courage are brothers. — Proverb

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid. — L.Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Being terrified but going ahead and doing what must be done—that's courage. The one who feels no fear is a fool, and the one who lets fear rule him is a coward. ― Piers Anthony

Courage is about doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. Have the courage to act instead of react." — Oliver Wendell Holmes

(2) Following Your Heart 

“Passion is what drives us crazy, what makes us do extraordinary things, to discover, to challenge ourselves. Passion is and should always be the heart of courage.” ― Midori Komatsu

And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement speech, June 2005

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.
 — Soren Kierkegaard

“It takes courage ... to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ― Marianne Williamson, "Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of 'A Course in Miracles'"

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3) Persevering in the Face of Adversity

When we are afraid we ought not to occupy ourselves with endeavoring to prove that there is no danger, but in strengthening ourselves to go on in spite of the danger. — Mark Rutherford

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. — Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them — Orison Swett Marden (1850-1924)

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the   day that says I'll try again tomorrow. — Mary Anne Radmacher

“Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.” — Mark Twain

(4) Standing Up For What Is Right

Sometimes standing against evil is more important than defeating it. The greatest heroes stand because it is right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives. Such selfless courage is a victory in itself ― N.D. Wilson, Dandelion Fire

Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes — Maggie Kuhn, Social Activist

From caring comes courage. — Lao Tzu

Anger is the prelude to courage. ― Eric Hoffer

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(5) Expanding Your Horizons; Letting Go of the Familiar

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. — Lord Chesterfield

“This world demands the qualities of youth; not a time of life but a state of mind, a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetitefor adventure over the life of ease.” ― Robert F. Kennedy

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. — Anais Nin

(6) Facing Suffering  With Dignity or Faith...

 “There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” — Frank

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. — Aristotle

Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage. — Jean Anoulh

A man of courage is also full of faith. — Marcus Tullius Cicero

Courage-Building Exercise

For this exercise, you will need a notebook and pen, as well as a quiet, uninterrupted space in which you can reflect.  

Beginning with the first definition of courage, "Feeling Afraid Yet Choosing to Act," answer the following questions:

Think of a situation as an adult when you felt afraid, yet chose to face your fear?

(a) What did you observe, think, and feel at the time? (e.g., "I saw the rollercoaster and felt butterflies in my stomach").

(b) What did you or the people around you say, think, and do to help you face your fear? (e.g., "I told myself that if little kids could go on it, so could I").

(c) At what point did your fear start to go down? How did you feel afterwards?

(d) Now think back on a situation in childhood in which you faced your fear. How was it the same or different than the first situation?

(e) Finally, think of a situation you are currently facing that creates fear or anxiety. What are you most afraid of?  (e.g., being fired if I ask my boss for a raise).

(f) Now, is there a way to apply the same skills you used in the two earlier situations to be more  courageous this situation. Remind yourself that you have these skills and have used them successfully in the past. What mental or environmental barriers stand in the way of using these skills? How can you cope with or get rid of these barriers?

Repeat this exercise over the course of a week, using each definition of courage above. On Day 7, come up with your own definition of courage that is most meaningful to you and repeat the whole exercise using this definition.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201208/the-six-attributes-courage

Follow These 9 Steps to Ask for What You Want (and Actually Get It)

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   The world responds to those who ask. When you begin to ask for what you need and want, you’ve taken control of your life—you are proactively steering its direction. Many wonderful and great things come to you as a result.

   But just how do you go about getting started asking? Here are the primary action steps to take:

   1. Act as if you expect to get it.

   You need a solid level of certainty and expectation when you ask for something  you want. This state of mind will affect everything else—your body posture, eye contact, tone of voice and choice of words. Think for a moment. You’ve been in situations when you’ve asked and had every certainty that you would receive exactly what you were asking for. Remember how you felt then? Keep that in your mind with every request you make.

   2. Ask someone who can give it to you.

   Before you ask someone for something, make an assessment of whether or not they will be able to give it to you. Some people are very qualified and motivated to help. Others just aren’t capable of delivering. Watch people and review that capacity. Have you ever seen them capable of delivering what you’re about to ask them, or are you just hoping the potential is there?

   3. Get the other person’s full attention.

   Your request deserves that respect! If the person cannot give you his or her full attention right then, set up an appointment—schedule time to talk in the very near future.

   4. Be clear and specific.

   Be as concise as you possibly can in your requests. Ask for what you want, not for what you don’t want. At the same time, be careful what you ask for. More often than not, you get exactly what you’ve requested.

   5. Ask from the heart.

   I believe you can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. Keep that unbridled passion for your purpose, project or goal stirring in your soul as you begin to ask and maintain eye contact throughout the entire ask process. This further establishes your integrity, trustworthiness and passion on the subject.

   6. Ask with humor and creativity.

   Humor captures our attention and breaks down our defenses. Creativity disarms our resistance and opens our minds to new possibilities.

   7. Give something to get something.

   As Zig Ziglar says, “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”  When you’re asking, always be sure to explain what’s in it for them, how they benefit and win because they’ve acted positively on your request.

   8. Ask repeatedly.

   If someone says, “No!” you say, “Next!” Expect no’s—even on a repeated basis from the same people you’re asking. Your tenaciousness and perseverance will undoubtedly pay off.

   9. So you’ve asked and they still say no. Now what?

   Don’t lose your cool when you’re faced with resistance. A powerful request can only be powerful if you’re also willing to be declined. Ask with authority, prepare yourself for a no, be gracious in receiving that no, then make one of two choices:

   • Ask the person you just made the request of to help you with a solution.

   They may know someone who can give you a yes and, given some freedom and respect from you, they often wander their own way into providing your yes.

   • Walk away without burning your bridges.

   You probably just came across someone who feasibly could not help you. The world is much too small and interconnected to lash out at even one person.

   Mark Victor Hansen November 17, 2015

2. http://www.success.com/article/follow-these-9-steps-to-ask-for-what-you-want-and-actually-get-it?trk_msg=GQAMOCTGBON4J9OF9IAJV0G5A4&trk_contact=KFODKVH1KB9UT13TLCQI58HKAG&utm_source=Listrak&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=http%3a%2f%2fwww.success.com%2farticle%2ffollow-these-9-steps-to-ask-for-what-you-want-and-actually-get-it&utm_campaign=Follow+These+9+Steps+to+Ask+for+What+You+Want+(and+Actually+Get+It)