7 Ordinary Questions That Lead To A Happy Marriage

                                Source: Stocksy

If I asked you for a list of essential skills for an amazing marriage, odds are you would put communication near the top. Every aspect of human interaction relies upon communication. Communication is about listening and sharing.

When I think about communication, I see my wife and myself sitting on the couch discussing some aspect of our lives. In your mind, great communication may look similar or perhaps completely different.

One aspect of communication we don’t often consider, though, is the questions we ask. Great communicators know that the quality of the conversation and therefore the quality of the relationship depends on the quality of the questions.

Below are seven questions I often ask — some to myself and others to my wife — to help us have an amazing marriage:

1. What can I do for you right now?

This very minute, what is the greatest need I can satisfy? It may be a normal task such as watching the kids for the evening or taking care of the laundry. It may be as deep as to sit and hold each other and just bask in the glow of shared love. Sometimes there is nothing to be done, and that’s OK, too.

2. Is this a good time?

I like to do what I want to do, and I like to do it right now. But to be considerate of my spouse, I need to pay attention to both her schedule and her current emotional state. It’s not always a bad time, but asking the question will let her know I will wait until she’s ready, no matter the situation.

3. Will you please forgive me?

We don’t often like to admit fault, but none of us is perfect. When I blow it, I'm quick to ask for forgiveness. I used to be a lot more arrogant and selfish — assuming I was usually in the right. Now I do my best to recognize my own errors or gracefully accept criticism when she points out with kindness where I could improve.

4. Can you help me understand?

I’m a man and don’t always know exactly what’s going on. Frankly, at times I’m a bit dense. Making yourself vulnerable by admitting ignorance is the best way to learn. I never hear “if you loved me, you wouldn’t have to ask.” In our relationship, if one asks for assistance in understanding the other is happy to help.

5. Would you like my input?

We share a lot about what is going on outside our relationship. Things that happen with our business, church, children, friends, etc. Like a lot of men, my first inclination when I hear a problem is to offer a solution. But sometimes she just wants a listening ear. Asking whether or not she wants my input makes it clear I’m there in whatever way she needs me.

6. Do you have a dream or goal you'd like to accomplish?

I love this question! Although we don’t often ask it in those exact words, it comes up as a topic at various intervals. Keeping your spouse’s goals and dreams at the top of your mind allows you to be both a cheerleader and a helper at the appropriate times.

7. How do I make this the best possible life for you?

I don’t think I have ever asked this question out loud. But I take conscious steps every single day to give her the happiest possible life. You may not be able to give your spouse everything he or she wants in life. In fact, that would not be a great mission. It's better to do whatever you can to enable her or him to be the best version of themselves.

What kind of questions can we ask to have amazing marriages? Questions that make us better spouses. Each of us can be a better husband or wife by listening, serving, asking for help, encouraging, and paying attention. Understanding comes through learning and applying that knowledge.

Making a conscious effort to frequently ask questions in your relationship will draw you closer. Ask powerful questions of each other and allow your love for one another to provide answers that are genuine and filled with grace and kindness.

What other questions do you ask to have an amazing marriage?

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-24007/7-ordinary-questions-that-lead-to-a-happy-marriage.html

Prayer: A Blessing For Wives

Dear Heavenly Father,

                         Source: http://www.answersfromscriptureonline.com/

I lift up wives all around the world today. May You give them peace, anointing them to endure anything that might be trying to take them down. 

I ask that You would break any chains of bondage that they might be entangled by. Equip them to be strong and confident women who only fear You! Teach us how to be respectful wives, quiet when need to be, yet brave enough to speak up when we need to be. Help us to be dignified women who live according to Your standards, not the world’s. 

Remind us of our worth and beauty. Whisper to our hearts and mend any brokenness that may be affecting us. May we have joyful attitudes that will create a positive atmosphere and encourage others. Please help us to be diligent today and find favor in Your eyes in Jesus’ name we pray AMEN!

Source: https://unveiledwife.com/prayer-of-the-day-a-blessing-for-wives/?utm_campaign=UW+-+Prayer+of+the+Day&utm_medium=email&utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_content=RSS%3AITEM%3ATITLE

10 Questions To Ask Your Wife Every Year

The best remedy for marriage conflict is marriage communication. Disagreements, fights, impasses, separations and divorce can be traced back to poor communication more than any other factor. Likewise, listening amounts to some of the best relationship medicine around. Listening works best when we ask good questions. 

Good questions indicate bona fide concern. The man who asks good questions is already well on the way to communication excellence. The best questions also serve as conversation starters. Remember, you are interested in her. But, once you start talking, she’s going to ask stuff too. The more you know each other on a deep level, the easier it is to fall in love all over again. Here are 10 questions to ask your wife every year:

1. What do you think is going right in our relationship?  It’s been a while since you took the marriage vows. But it’s still true that positive affirmation leads to more productive change than negative evaluation. It’s helpful to identify our strengths. Once we know them we can play to them. Building each other up is always a win-win.

2. Where would you like our relationship to be this time next year?  It doesn’t matter where we are, there’s always room to be better. She might say, “I’d like to see more spontaneous affection.” Or, “I want us to be moving forward together in our faith.” She could say, “I want our relationship to involve more fun!

3. Will you please marry me, all over again?  Say it with flowers. Say it like you mean it. Make sure your wife knows how much you cherish her

4. I’d love to hear about your dreams for the future.  A wise Hebrew writer once wrote, “Without a vision, the people perish.” Listen to your wife, imagine great things together, and then step into the possibilities

5. Is there anywhere you’d like to visit this coming year?  Indulge a little whimsy. Listen, laugh together, fantasize about fabulous vacations, and then tuck the information away somewhere, so you can possibly plan a trip. A good husband listens to his wife’s dreams. A great husband weaves them into their plans for the future

6. Do you think we’re doing OK financially?  This needs to be an ongoing conversation. However, like any small business (and a family is like a business in many ways), the directors need to have a comprehensive annual meeting to evaluate the finances and the plan for the coming year

7. How are you doing health-wise?  Encouraging one another involves accountability. Partners should never remain ignorant when it comes to health concerns.  And not just physical health.  It’s also important to take inventory of each other’s emotional well-being

8. If you could change one thing about our priorities as a family, what would it be?  Notice this isn’t an invitation to criticize, but more an opportunity to grow together. Possible answers might include

– I’d like to see less TV time and more family time with one another at home.

– We’re not eating together enough. I’d like to see dinnertime valued a little more. -We say can’t afford a family vacation, but then we eat out 2-3 times a week. Maybe we should shift that one around!

9. Is there anything I devote regular time to that you see as a possible threat to our family or our relationship?  Patterns take time to emerge. When we look back – or from another person’s point of view – sometimes we can see more clearly. Ask your wife if there are any adjustments you can make (Consistently late for dinner? Too much golf? Too many evenings with “the boys”?) that would help her to feel more secure

10. Are you happy?  It’s a good question even if she says she’s happy already. “What can I do to make you more happy?” is a great discussion.  Again, this is where good, active listening is very important.  And your wife’s greatest happiness will always be found in God, so encourage her to grow in her faith

Source: http://leadingwithquestions.com/#sthash.LZtvWET7.dpuf