20 Things to Remember When Rejection Hurts

Be OK with walking away…
Rejection teaches you how to reject what’s not right for you.

As you look back on your life, you will realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from someone or something you wanted, you were in fact being redirected to someone or something you needed.

Seeing this when you’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough.  I know because I’ve been there.

As soon as someone critiques, criticizes, and pushes you away – as soon as you are rejected – you find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I’m not worthy.”  What you need to realize is, the other person or situation is NOT worthy of YOU and your particular journey.

Rejection is necessary medicine; it teaches you how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so you can find the right ones that will.  It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it just means someone else failed to notice what you have to offer.  Which means you now have more time to improve yourself and explore your options.

Will you be bitter for a moment?  Absolutely.  Hurt?  Of course, you’re human.  There isn’t a soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heart break at the realization of rejection.  For a short time afterwards you will ask yourself every question you can think of…

• What did I do wrong?
• Why didn’t they care about me?
• How come?
• etc.

But then you have to let your emotions fuel you in a positive way!  This is the important part.  Let your feelings of rejection drive you, feed you, and inspire one heck of a powerful opening to the next chapter of your story.

Honestly, if you constantly feel like someone is not treating you with respect, check your price tag.  Perhaps you’ve subconsciously marked yourself down.  Because it’s YOU who tells others what you’re worth by showing them what you’re willing to accept for your time and attention.  So get off the clearance rack.  And I mean right NOW!  If you don’t value and respect yourself, wholeheartedly, no one else will either.

I know it’s hard to accept, but think about it…

All too often we let the rejections of our past dictate every move we make thereafter.  We literally do not know ourselves to be any better than what some intolerant person or shallow circumstance once told us was true.

It’s time to realize this and squash the subconscious idea that you don’t deserve any better.  It’s time to remind yourself that…

1. The person you liked, loved or respected in the past, who treated you like dirt again and again, has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you in the present moment, but headaches and heartache.
2. One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is when you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change, like someone else’s behavior or decisions.  (ReadLoving What Is.)
3. Life and God both have greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or believing that you’re broken.
4. The harsh truth is, sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller and emotionally stronger than you ever were before.
5. It’s not the end of the world – it’s never the end of the world – and yet rejection can make the loss of someone or something you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut-wrenching and world-ending.
6. Sometimes people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them.  And sometimes the more chances you give, the more respect you lose.  Enough is enough.  Never let a person get comfortable with disrespecting you.  You deserve better.  You deserve to be with someone who makes you smile – someone who doesn’t take you for granted – someone who won’t leave you hanging.
7. Some chapters in our lives have to close without closure.  There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.
8. Take a deep breath.  Inner peace begins the moment you decide not to let another person or event control your emotions.
9. You really can’t take things other people say about you too personally.  What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you.
10. Those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who build themselves up with the bricks others have thrown at them.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
11. Let your scars remind you that the damage someone has inflicted on you has left you stronger, smarter and more resilient.
12. When you lose someone or something, don’t think of it as a loss, but as a gift that lightens your load so you can better travel the path meant for you.
13. You will never miss out on what is meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way.  Stay focused.  Be positive.
14. Rejections and naysayers aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things; so don’t let them conquer your mind.  Step forward!  Seriously, most of us do not understand how much potential we have – we limit our aspirations to the level someone else told us was possible.
15. Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. Don’t be one of them.  Ultimately, you are who you are when nobody’s watching.  Know this!  And dare to be yourself, however awkward, different or odd that self may prove to be to someone else.
16. Comparing yourself to others, or other people’s perceptions, only undermines your worth, your education and your own inner wisdom.  There’s no one who can handle your present situation better than YOU.
17. The more we fill our lives with genuine passion and purpose, the less time and energy we’ll waste looking for approval from everyone else.
18. You CAN use your struggles, frustrations, and rejections to motivate you rather than annoy you.  You are in control of the way you look at life.  (Read 10% Happier.)
19. Sometimes transitions in life are the perfect opportunity to let go of one situation to embrace something even better coming your way.
20. Right now is a new beginning.  The possibilities ahead are endless.  Be strong enough to let go, wise enough to move forward, diligent enough to work hard, and patient enough to wait for what you deserve.

Afterthoughts

All details aside, you don’t need anyone’s constant affection or approval in order to be good enough in this world.  When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you.  It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs.  So you don’t have to internalize any of it!  Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent.  You exist, and therefore you matter.  You’re allowed to be yourself.  You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings.  You’re allowed to assert your needs.  You’re allowed to hold on to the truth that who you are is more than enough.  And you’re allowed to let go of anyone in your life who makes you feel otherwise.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2015/04/01/20-things-to-remember-when-rejection-hurts/

12 Characteristics of People Who Are the Best at What They Do

Do you have what it takes to be the best?

Chris Widener

 

January 5, 2016

What does it mean to be the best? What are the characteristics common to successful people, achievers, doers—the ones who find ways to become the very best at everything they do?

Would you pass the “Best” test?

Here are 12 questions to find out if you’ve got what it takes to rise to the top:

1. Are you an optimist?

You can't get to the top if you don't think there is a top, or if you think you can't make it. Optimists always believe things can improve or be done better. This pushes them to be their best.

2. Do you have a vision?

Visionaries can see ahead of the pack. Their eyes aren't locked on the here and now. They see the bright future and what things will look like when they reach their destiny. While working hard for today, they live for the future. They “begin with the end in mind.”

3. Do you relentlessly pursue excellence?

The status quo is not for the best. They want to experience the best and be the best. That means giving their best. They go the extra mile so that in everything they do, in everything they say and think, they are striving for excellence.

4. Do you have a lifelong habit of personal growth?

They don’t want to stay at the level they are at. They want to grow in their work, their intellect, their spirituality and their relationships— in every area of their life. And they discipline themselves to put themselves in situations where they grow. Personal growth doesn’t “just happen.” People must choose to grow.

5. Do you welcome competition?

Like the lead runners in the race with someone on their heels, the best know that the competition is right behind them. They love it because they know the competition keeps them from becoming lazy or complacent. The competition pushes them to go faster and achieve more—to remain the best by forging ahead.

6. Do you strive to be a leader?

Someone has to lead—it may as well be the best. People who become leaders get there because they want to. They want make a difference. And they want to be equipped with the skills necessary to lead others to a better place.

7. Do you leave a legacy?

Leaders aren't in it just for themselves, though they will surely reap the rewards of being the best. They build things that last beyond themselves, things that can be enjoyed by others as well. They leave a mark for future leaders to see and use.

8. Do you know how to prioritize and execute your goals?

Just like weight loss boils down to eating right and exercising, personal management boils down to prioritizing and executing. First prioritize your activities—the important stuff goes on the top. Then execute—do them. The best have habits and discipline that get them to the top, by doing the best things and doing them first.

9. Do you focus on building relationships?

Success does not come alone. Everyone who achieves greatness does it with the help of countless others. How do the best get others to help them? They treat them with respect. They embrace them. People become the best because they help other people, and people like them.

10. Do you make excuses?

When they fail, they admit it and move on. They get back up and do it right next time. They let their actions speak louder than their words. They stand tall and do it better next time. No excuses, just results.

11. Do you strive for “good” or “best?”

Yes, they could say, “This is good." But that would mean they have settled for less than the best. Many people think that good is good. Good is not good. Good is the enemy because it keeps us from the best. What will it be: good or best? The best choose the best.

12. Do you dare to dream?

While others live the mundane and settle into a life they never bargained for, a rut, the best dream of a better life. And then they take the necessary risks to achieve their dreams. They live by Teddy Roosevelt's quote: “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

So, do you have what it takes to be the best?

http://www.success.com/article/12-characteristics-of-people-who-are-the-best-at-what-they-do?trk_msg=02ILV7TCD2UKBDGV9V43IN48B0&trk_contact=KFODKVH1KB9UT13TLCQI58HKAG&utm_source=Listrak&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=http%3a%2f%2fwww.success.com%2farticle%2f12-characteristics-of-people-who-are-the-best-at-what-they-do&utm_campaign=12+Characteristics+of+People+Who+Are+the+Best+at+What+They+Do&utm_content=mars_20%40hotmail.co.uk

The Ultimate People Skills: "Positive Projection"

Learn To Love Mornings With These 5 Easy Rituals

Morning is my new favorite time of day — but it wasn’t always this way. I used to think I was more productive at night. I’m still getting to know mornings and my rituals, and I’m appreciating the little things, like the shadows and how different and pretty the light is as it streams through the windows. It really is special to witness.

My relationship to mornings still feels new and exciting, but it takes me a little while to actually feel awake. I try to slow things down as much as possible, avoiding technology for as long as I can while I get back into my body and find my center.

These are five rituals that help me feel calm, balanced, and ready to start the day:

1. Set your own alarm.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative

When I’m ready for sleep, I close my eyes and focus on what time I want to wake up in the morning. I set an alarm as backup, but I usually tend to rise at the time I instructed my body to awaken. This practice helps me get more in touch with the power of my mind and my intuition.

2. Make breakfast easy and complete.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative

I love a cup of Traditional Medicinal's Roasted Dandelion Root tea in my favorite mug (my mom made the mug for me; she’s a ceramic artist) in the morning. Dandelion is one of my favorite plants, and as an herbalist I love how it gently supports digestion. If I want an added immunity boost, I’ll brew a pot of the dandelion tea and add a bit of chaga mushroom that my friend Olivia harvests in Upstate New York.

For breakfast I make sure to have high-quality fat, carbohydrates, and protein. I love a medicinal smoothie — more for healing than taste. I use different combinations of food depending on what my body needs — kale, coconut oil, spinach, berries, soaked chia seeds, kefir, oats, almond milk, banana, flaxseed, tincture of echinacea — whatever I have around.

My other favorite breakfast is a bowl of kitchari topped with an egg, cilantro pesto, and a little good-quality grass-fed cheese. I make the kitchari for the entire week, keeping a big bowl in the fridge so I can easily heat it up every morning.

3. Meditate, and make it easy.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative

The daily practice of meditation is powerful and transformative. It helps my creativity and allows my brain to rest and refocus. I like to start out my day with meditation, even if it’s just for five minutes.

I light some incense, sit back in my made bed (it’s been said that making the bed is great for productivity), and meditate. There are great apps that make meditating easier; I’m a huge fan of the one by calm.com. It reminds me to meditate every day — and I love all the timer sound options: chimes, singing bowls, and a harp!

My other favorite meditation app is the Silva Method. I grew up studying the method (which uses guided imagery techniques for self-empowerment), and it has a great morning exercise routine that I love to use to start my day.

4. Bring nature into the morning in any way possible.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative

When the weather’s nice, I like to sit outside with my bare feet in the grass while sipping some hot water with lemon, apple cider vinegar, elderberry, ginger, and either a tincture of rose or echinacea. (This little ritual is even better when I’m in L.A. and can pick a fresh lemon off the tree.)

If the weather isn’t ideal, I experience nature in more creative ways — with herbal tea, the steam from dried eucalyptus hanging in my shower, or through my rose-infused moisturizing face oil. The conscious addition of nature to my morning ritual helps me slow down and feel inspired.

5. Listen to reggae music.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative

To me, reggae is like sunshine for my body and mind. I believe it has healing properties, and it makes me feel calm and happy as I start my day. Dancing to reggae feels medicinal, promoting happiness and relaxation.

Photos by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative

About Jessa Blades

Jessa Blades is a makeup artist, natural beauty/wellness expert and herbalist based in Brooklyn and Los Angeles. Inspired by the idea of true healing and wellness, Jessa made the switch to natural products and founded her company Blades Natural Beauty in 2008, providing simple routines, pure products, and expert advice.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-22976/learn-to-love-mornings-with-these-5-easy-rituals.html?utm_source=mbg&utm_medium=email&utm_content=daily&utm_campaign=160105-what-i-eat-in-a-day-former-today-show-correspondent-jenna-wolfe-tells-all

Follow These 9 Steps to Ask for What You Want (and Actually Get It)

1. 
   

   

                                Source:http://www.blogtravelrepeat.com/

   The world responds to those who ask. When you begin to ask for what you need and want, you’ve taken control of your life—you are proactively steering its direction. Many wonderful and great things come to you as a result.

   But just how do you go about getting started asking? Here are the primary action steps to take:

   1. Act as if you expect to get it.

   You need a solid level of certainty and expectation when you ask for something  you want. This state of mind will affect everything else—your body posture, eye contact, tone of voice and choice of words. Think for a moment. You’ve been in situations when you’ve asked and had every certainty that you would receive exactly what you were asking for. Remember how you felt then? Keep that in your mind with every request you make.

   2. Ask someone who can give it to you.

   Before you ask someone for something, make an assessment of whether or not they will be able to give it to you. Some people are very qualified and motivated to help. Others just aren’t capable of delivering. Watch people and review that capacity. Have you ever seen them capable of delivering what you’re about to ask them, or are you just hoping the potential is there?

   3. Get the other person’s full attention.

   Your request deserves that respect! If the person cannot give you his or her full attention right then, set up an appointment—schedule time to talk in the very near future.

   4. Be clear and specific.

   Be as concise as you possibly can in your requests. Ask for what you want, not for what you don’t want. At the same time, be careful what you ask for. More often than not, you get exactly what you’ve requested.

   5. Ask from the heart.

   I believe you can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. Keep that unbridled passion for your purpose, project or goal stirring in your soul as you begin to ask and maintain eye contact throughout the entire ask process. This further establishes your integrity, trustworthiness and passion on the subject.

   6. Ask with humor and creativity.

   Humor captures our attention and breaks down our defenses. Creativity disarms our resistance and opens our minds to new possibilities.

   7. Give something to get something.

   As Zig Ziglar says, “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”  When you’re asking, always be sure to explain what’s in it for them, how they benefit and win because they’ve acted positively on your request.

   8. Ask repeatedly.

   If someone says, “No!” you say, “Next!” Expect no’s—even on a repeated basis from the same people you’re asking. Your tenaciousness and perseverance will undoubtedly pay off.

   9. So you’ve asked and they still say no. Now what?

   Don’t lose your cool when you’re faced with resistance. A powerful request can only be powerful if you’re also willing to be declined. Ask with authority, prepare yourself for a no, be gracious in receiving that no, then make one of two choices:

   • Ask the person you just made the request of to help you with a solution.

   They may know someone who can give you a yes and, given some freedom and respect from you, they often wander their own way into providing your yes.

   • Walk away without burning your bridges.

   You probably just came across someone who feasibly could not help you. The world is much too small and interconnected to lash out at even one person.

   Mark Victor Hansen November 17, 2015

2. http://www.success.com/article/follow-these-9-steps-to-ask-for-what-you-want-and-actually-get-it?trk_msg=GQAMOCTGBON4J9OF9IAJV0G5A4&trk_contact=KFODKVH1KB9UT13TLCQI58HKAG&utm_source=Listrak&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=http%3a%2f%2fwww.success.com%2farticle%2ffollow-these-9-steps-to-ask-for-what-you-want-and-actually-get-it&utm_campaign=Follow+These+9+Steps+to+Ask+for+What+You+Want+(and+Actually+Get+It)

41 - 50 of 50 Life Secrets and Tips.

1. 41. Keep your brain sharp.

   The majority of people are stuck in ruts. They go to the same job everyday, hang out with the same friends and eat at the same places. While that may feel safe, it’s not the most stimulating lifestyle for your brain. Those synapses have been built up enough, so try something that you do NOT know how to do! Buy a model car kit, master the art of sudoku or crosswords, or go pick up another major at your nearest college. The point is you need to be learning new things to keep your brain honest. Form newsynapses by forcing your mind to work in ways it has not worked before. Just like physical workouts, doing too much of the same exercise will eventually give no results. Switch it up!
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                                               Source: www.renegadehealth.com

3. 42. Read something inspirational right before bed and after waking.

   This will set get you in a great mood for sleep and for the day. Read anything from a famous speech to your favorite self-improvement book. Try to read something that get’s you really excited in the morning especially so that you’ll leave your house beaming with energy and wonder.

4. 43. Do what you love.

   There is a huge difference between making a life and making a living; which one are you making right now? So many spend their entire lives trying to make as much money as possible so that they can afford to do what they really want later. It makes no sense to settle in life until you’re 65 so that you can retire and do what you want when you’re already WAY past your prime. We only live life once so why wouldn’t you want to spend it pursuing your bliss? To do anything else would be a tragic waste of the freedom you are allowed if you are reading this right now. Follow your bliss and you will be a thousand times more happy than your retirement date and 40+ years younger. But first you need to figure out what you love to do…

5. 44. Choose your friends wisely.

   You are affected far more than you think by the people you spend your time with. Do your friends share your values? Do they encourage you when you speak of your goals and dreams or do they scoff? Make sure the people around you are conducive to the lifestyle you want to lead or you will find yourself being dragged again and again into behavior that distances you from your desires. Friends with a habit of producing negative thoughts will especially hinder you. This can be a hard task to follow through with if you realize you good friend is one of these saboteurs, but you must be firm! Don’t let anyone get in the way of you being all that you can be.

6. 45. Don’t burn bridges.

   By that I mean maintain your relationships with people even if you think you are never going to see them again. For example, if you are quitting your job, don’t chew out your boss before leaving! You might run into him/her again later and life and wish you had never severed ties so harshly. You never know when you might need the help of someone you knew in the past. Plus there is already too much hatred in this world, why add more towards the people you interact with?

7. 46. Keep a journal/diary.

   It sounds like a very monotonous habit at first, but when you get into it, that little book will become a great way to organize your thoughts and track your growth over the years. Most of us already stay awake in bed at night pondering the events of the day anyways so why not document those thoughts in an organized fashion? That will allow you to look back and observe how your way of thinking has changed over time.

8. 47. Read “New Pyscho-Cybernetics” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz.

   This book will explain why the content of your thoughts has such a profound effect on your life through religious, philosophical and scientific arguments. A must read for completely understand who this life thing works.

9. 48. Learn to use and trust your subconscious/intuition.

   When you spend time in silence everyday, listen not for words but for a feeling that tells you to do something. Do not mistake your own reasoning and thoughts for those of your subconscious. If you can track where the thought came from, (this thought led to that thought which led to this thought, etc.) then it was not from your subconscious. Learning to accurately discern between the two will allow you to tap into knowledge that you don’t consciously have.

10. 49. Develop a charismatic personality.

    You know, the kind of personality that is surrounded by people constantly and is the life of the party. Start visualizing yourself as THAT person. Maybe take a short course on dynamic speaking and learn some jokes. Take the time to learn some party tricks and sleight of hand. Most importantly, believe that you already are charismatic even if you fail at being the center point of the next party. Lie to yourself constantly and tell yourself that you are more warm and gregarious than Ronald Regan. Belief is the first step! Reality will come soon after.

11. 50. Love is all there is.

    If you truly want to be a master of life, let love be in your every action. Love your friends, family and enemies alike. This is the most difficult thing to do out of this entire list, which is why it is listed at #50. But if you accomplish this, you will be seen as a leader among everyone that allows hate, envy, disgust and all other negative emotions into their lives. Think Gandhi. Love is so rare in this world when compared to the massive presence of hate that by exuding love, you will immediately see yourself and the people around you change. Love. Love. Love

How You Can Become A Self-Made Millionaire!

Got your millionaire map down yet?