Wednesday, 13 January 2016

THE FIVE BIGGEST TIME WASTERS IN YOUR BUSINESS

The Power of being-2
As business owners, we often talk about how busy we are, to the point where if someone tells us that we’re wasting time with our business it feels almost like a personal insult! But the hard truth is, there’s a huge difference between just being busy and being busy doing the right things. The even harder truth is that it can be hard to see that difference when you’re already in the middle of doing things. So let me clear a few things up — here are five of the biggest time wasters in your business:

Unlimited connection

I absolutely get that you’ve got to be connected to run a business — but what so often gets overlooked is the need to disconnect regularly, as in, as part of a daily practice. If your phone is constantly pinging with updates, you’re going to be constantly reacting and your plans are going to go out the window. Likewise, I know how easy it is to fall down a Facebook hole (believe me, it’s my Achilles heel!) but even if you tell yourself that you’re networking or doing it for business, you know deep down that’s not what’s going on.

Doing it all yourself

There’s a reason that businesses — and humans in general — work best when there’s a team involved. When you try to do it all yourself, you end up spending so much time on the things that aren’t your strengths that it really takes away from the great work you do when you play your strengths. I say this at every single event I attend: outsource, outsource, outsource.

Unfocused professional development

AKA, just one more course syndrome. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if you know more, then your business will do better. And while I’ll never advocate trying to go it alone or diving into something without a plan, there’s a time when you have to just go for it if you ever want to make progress. So go to courses, learn from the best, but do it strategically. If you don’t have a specific, measurable result that you want to get out of the course, ebook, or free download, then you should skip it, at least for now.

Poor boundary setting

This one often stems from really good intentions. For instance, you may try to be really generous with your time or your skills, which is a lovely thing, but if you let it get out of hand then it will suck the life out of your business. You know what I’m talking about: giving away long free consults, talking to potential clients for hours on end or through email after email, doing “just that one more little thing” that your client asks you for when you know there’s something else you could be doing … bottom line, getting your boundaries in place is key for your business. It also keeps you from getting resentful (which will absolutely happen if you let people roll over your boundaries over and over again) and will allow you the flexibility to practice generosity on your terms, not as a default.

Perfectionism

How many times have you sat on an email for an hour because you’re just not quite sure it’s right yet? How many times have you delayed a launch because you want to keep tweaking things just for one more week? Perfectionism is a huge time waster, and it’s really common in entrepreneurial businesses because most entrepreneurs are naturally high performing, give-the-best type of people, which can make it hard to ship. So just remember, done is better than perfect — and you can always go back later to change something or make it better IF you get feedback that merits it.

So how about it — do you see yourself in any of these? And what are you going to do today to change that?

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Sleep Deprivation Is Killing You and Your Career

The next time you tell yourself that you’ll sleep when you’re dead, realize that you’re making a decision that can make that day come much sooner. In this article, originally posted on LinkedIn Pulse, I explain why pushing late into the night is a health and productivity killer.
According to the Division of Sleep Medicine at the Harvard Medical School, the short-term productivity gains from skipping sleep to work are quickly washed away by the detrimental effects of sleep deprivation on your mood, ability to focus and access to higher-level brain functions for days to come. The negative effects of sleep deprivation are so great that people who are drunk outperform those lacking sleep.
                                Source:http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/

Why You Need Adequate Sleep to Perform

We've always known that sleep is good for your brain, but new research from the University of Rochester provides the first direct evidence for why your brain cells need you to sleep (and sleep the right way—more on that later). The study found that when you sleep, your brain removes toxic proteins from its neurons that are by-products of neural activity when you're awake. Unfortunately, your brain can remove them adequately only while you're asleep. So when you don't get enough sleep, the toxic proteins remain in your brain cells, wreaking havoc by impairing your ability to think—something no amount of caffeine can fix.
Skipping sleep impairs your brain function across the board. It slows your ability to process information and problem solve, kills your creativity, and catapults your stress levels and emotional reactivity.

What Sleep Deprivation Does to Your Health

Sleep deprivation is linked to a variety of serious health problems, including heart attack, stroke, type 2 diabetes and obesity. It stresses you out because your body overproduces the stress hormone cortisol when it's sleep deprived. While excess cortisol has a host of negative health effects that come from the havoc it wreaks on your immune system, it also makes you look older, because cortisol breaks down skin collagen, the protein that keeps skin smooth and elastic. In men specifically, not sleeping enough reduces testosterone levels and lowers sperm count.
Too many studies to list have shown that people who get enough sleep live longer, healthier lives, but I understand that sometimes this isn't motivation enough. So consider this—not sleeping enough makes you fat. Sleep deprivation compromises your body's ability to metabolize carbohydrates and control food intake. When you sleep less, you eat more and have more difficulty burning the calories you consume. Sleep deprivation makes you hungrier by increasing the appetite-stimulating hormone ghrelin and makes it harder for you to get full by reducing levels of the satiety-inducing hormone leptin. People who sleep less than six hours a night are 30 percent more likely to become obese than those who sleep seven to nine hours a night.
Side Effects From Missing Sleep

How Much Sleep Is Enough?

Most people need seven to nine hours of sleep a night to feel sufficiently rested. Few people are at their best with less than seven hours, and few require more than nine without an underlying health condition. And that’s a major problem, since more than half of Americans get less than the necessary seven hours of sleep each night, according to the National Sleep Foundation.
For go-getters, it's even worse.
A recent survey of Inc. 500 CEOs found that half of them are sleeping less than six hours a night. And the problem doesn't stop at the top. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a third of U.S. workers get less than six hours of sleep each night, and sleep deprivation costs U.S. businesses more than $63 billion annually in lost productivity.

Doing Something About It

Beyond the obvious sleep benefits of thinking clearly and staying healthy, the ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90 percent of top performers are high in emotional intelligence (EQ). These individuals are skilled at understanding and using emotions to their benefit, and good sleep hygiene is one of the greatest tools at their disposal.
High-EQ individuals know it's not just how much you sleep that matters, but also how you sleep. When life gets in the way of getting the amount of sleep you need, it's absolutely essential that you increase the quality of your sleep through good sleep hygiene. There are many hidden killers of quality sleep. The 10 strategies that follow will help you identify these killers and clean up your sleep hygiene. Follow them, and you'll reap the performance and health benefits that come with getting the right quantity and quality of sleep.
1. Stay away from sleeping pills.
When I say sleeping pills, I mean anything you take that sedates you so that you can sleep. Whether it's alcohol, Nyquil, Benadryl, Valium, Ambien, or what have you, these substances greatly disrupt your brain's natural sleep process. Have you ever noticed that sedatives can give you some really strange dreams? As you sleep and your brain removes harmful toxins, it cycles through an elaborate series of stages, at times shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams). Sedation interferes with these cycles, altering the brain's natural process.
Anything that interferes with the brain's natural sleep process has dire consequences for the quality of your sleep. Many of the strategies that follow eliminate factors that disrupt this recovery process. If getting off sleeping pills proves difficult, make certain you try some of the other strategies (such as cutting down on caffeine) that will make it easier for you to fall asleep naturally and reduce your dependence upon sedatives.
2. Stop drinking caffeine (at least after lunch).
You can sleep more and vastly improve the quality of the sleep you get by reducing your caffeine intake. Caffeine is a powerful stimulant that interferes with sleep by increasing adrenaline production and blocking sleep-inducing chemicals in the brain. Caffeine has a six-hour half-life, which means it takes a full 24 hours to work its way out of your system. Have a cup of joe at 8 a.m., and you’ll still have 25 percent of the caffeine in your body at 8 p.m. Anything you drink after noon will still be near 50 percent strength at bedtime. Any caffeine in your bloodstream—the negative effects increasing with the dose—makes it harder to fall and stay asleep.
When you do finally fall asleep, the worst is yet to come. Caffeine disrupts the quality of your sleep by reducing rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the deep sleep when your body recuperates most. When caffeine disrupts your sleep, you wake up the next day with a cognitive and emotional handicap. You’ll be naturally inclined to grab a cup of coffee or an energy drink to try to make yourself feel more alert, which very quickly creates a vicious cycle.
3. Avoid blue light at night.
This is a big one—most people don't even realize it impacts their sleep. Short-wavelength blue light plays an important role in your mood, energy level and sleep quality. In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this "blue" light. When your eyes are exposed to it directly (not through a window or while wearing sunglasses), the blue light halts production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and makes you feel more alert. This is great, and exposure to a.m. sunlight can improve your mood and energy levels. If the sun isn't an option for you, try a blue light device.
In the afternoon, the sun's rays lose their blue light, which allows your body to produce melatonin and start making you sleepy. By the evening, your brain does not expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it. The problem this creates for sleep is that most of our favorite evening devices—laptops, tablets, TVs and mobile phones—emit short-wavelength blue light. And in the case of your laptop, tablet and phone, they do so brightly and right in your face. This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off. Remember, the sleep cycle is a daylong process for your brain. When you confuse your brain by exposing it in the evening to what it thinks is a.m. sunlight, this derails the entire process with effects that linger long after you power down. The best thing you can do is avoid these devices after dinner (TV is OK for most people as long as they sit far enough away from the set). If you must use one of these devices in the evening, you can limit your exposure with a filter or protective eye wear.
4. Wake up at the same time every day.
Consistency is key to a good night's sleep, especially when it comes to waking up. Waking up at the same time every day improves your mood and sleep quality by regulating your circadian rhythm. When you have a consistent wake-up time, your brain acclimates to this and moves through the sleep cycle in preparation for you to feel rested and alert at your wake-up time. Roughly an hour before you wake, hormone levels increase gradually (along with your body temperature and blood pressure), causing you to become more alert. This is why you'll often find yourself waking up right before your alarm goes off.
When you don't wake up at the same time every day, your brain doesn't know when to complete the sleep process and when it should prepare you to be awake. Long ago, sunlight ensured a consistent wake-up time. These days, an alarm is the only way most people can pull this off, and doing this successfully requires resisting the temptation to sleep in when you're feeling tired because you know you'll actually feel better by keeping your wake-up time intact.
5. No binge sleeping (in) on the weekend.
Sleeping in on the weekend is a counterproductive way to catch up on your sleep. It messes with your circadian rhythm by giving you an inconsistent wake-up time. When you wake up at the same time during the work week but sleep past this time on the weekend, you end up feeling groggy and tired because your brain hasn't prepared your body to be awake. This isn't a big deal on your day off, but it makes you less productive on Monday because it throws your cycle off and makes it hard to get going again on your regular schedule.
6. Learn how much sleep you really need.
The amount of sleep you need is something that you can't control, and scientists are beginning to discover the genes that dictate it. The problem is, most people sleep much less than they really need and are under-performing because they think they're getting enough. Some discover this the hard way. Ariana Huffington was one of those frantic types who underslept and overworked, until she collapsed unexpectedly from exhaustion one afternoon. She credits her success and well-being since then to the changes she's made to her sleep habits. "I began getting 30 minutes more sleep a night, until gradually I got to seven to eight hours. The result has been transformational," Huffington says, adding that, "all the science now demonstrates unequivocally that when we get enough sleep, everything is better: our health; our mental capacity and clarity; our joy at life; and our ability to live life without reacting to every bad thing that happens."
Huffington isn't the only one. Jeff Bezos, Warren Buffet, and Sheryl Sandberg have all touted the virtues of getting enough sleep. Even Bill Gates, an infamous night owl, has affirmed the benefits of figuring out how much sleep you really need: “I like to get seven hours of sleep a night because that’s what I need to stay sharp and creative and upbeat.” It's time to bite the bullet and start going to bed earlier until you find the magic number that enables you to perform at your best.
7. Stop working.
When you work in the evening, it puts you into a stimulated, alert state when you should be winding down and relaxing in preparation for sleep. Recent surveys show that roughly 60 percent of people monitor their smartphones for work emails until they go to sleep. Staying off blue light-emitting devices (discussed above) after a certain time each evening is also a great way to avoid working so you can relax and prepare for sleep, but any type of work before bed should be avoided if you want quality sleep.
8. Eliminate interruptions.
Unfortunately for those with small children, the quality of your sleep does suffer when it is interrupted. The key here is to eliminate all the interruptions that are under your control. If you have loud neighbors, wear earplugs to bed. If your mother likes to call at all hours of the night, make certain you silence your ringer before you go to bed. If you had to wake up extra early in the morning, make sure your alarm clock is back on its regular time when you go to bed. Don't drink too much water in the evening to avoid a bathroom trip in the middle of the night. If your partner snores…. Well, you get the idea. If you think hard enough, there are lots of little things you can do to eliminate unnecessary interruptions to your sleep.
9. Learn to meditate.
Many people who learn to meditate report that it improves the quality of their sleep and that they can get the rest they need even if they aren't able to significantly increase the number of hours they sleep. At the Stanford Medical Center, insomniacs participated in a six-week mindfulness meditation and cognitive-behavioral therapy course. At the end of the study, participants' average time to fall asleep was cut in half (from 40 to 20 minutes), and 60 percent of subjects no longer qualified as insomniacs. The subjects retained these gains upon follow-up a full year later. A similar study at the University of Massachusetts Medical School found that 91 percent of participants either reduced the amount of medication they needed to sleep or stopped taking medication entirely after a mindfulness and sleep therapy course. Give mindfulness a try. At minimum, you'll fall asleep faster, as it will teach you how to relax and quiet your mind once you hit the pillow.
10. When all else fails, take naps.
One of the biggest peaks in melatonin production happens during the 1 to 3 p.m. time frame, which explains why most people feel sleepy in the afternoon. Companies like Google and Zappos are capitalizing on this need by giving employees the opportunity to take short afternoon naps. If you aren't getting enough sleep at night, you're likely going to feel an overwhelming desire to sleep in the afternoon. When this happens, you're better off taking a short nap (even as short as 15 minutes) than resorting to caffeine to keep you awake. A short nap will give you the rest you need to get through the rest of the afternoon, and you'll sleep much better in the evening than if you drink caffeine or take a long afternoon nap.
Bringing It All Together
I know many of you reading this piece are thinking something along the lines of "but I know a guy (or gal) who is always up at all hours of the night working or socializing, and he's the number one performer at our branch." My answer for you is simple: This guy is underperforming. We all have innate abilities that we must maximize to reach our full potential. My job is to help people do that—to help the good become great by removing unseen performance barriers. Being number one in your branch is an accomplishment, but I guarantee that this guy has his sights set on bigger things that he isn't achieving because sleep deprivation has him performing at a fraction of his full potential. You should send him this article. It just might shake something loose.
After all, the only thing worth catching up on at night is your sleep.
http://www.success.com/blog/sleep-deprivation-is-killing-you-and-your-career?trk_msg=JDCD82FB5EG47FL95LHNRJCVTG&trk_contact=KFODKVH1KB9UT13TLCQI58HKAG&utm_source=Listrak&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=http%3a%2f%2fwww.success.com%2fblog%2fsleep-deprivation-is-killing-you-and-your-career&utm_campaign=Sleep+Deprivation+Is+Killing+You+and+Your+Career

Monday, 11 January 2016

The Six Attributes of Courage

Courage is something that everybody wants — an attribute of good character that makes us worthy of respect. From the Bible to fairy tales; ancient myths to Hollywood movies,our culture is rich with exemplary tales of bravery and self-sacrifice for the greater good. From the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz who finds the courage to face the witch, to David battling Goliath in the Bible, to Star Wars and Harry Potter, children are raised on a diet of heroic and inspirational tales.
                             http://www.dogfuranddandelions.com/
Yet courage is not just physical bravery. History books tell colorful tales of social activists, such as Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, who chose to speak out against injustice at great personal risk. Entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney, who took financial risks to follow their dreams and innovate are like modern-day knights, exemplifying the rewards and public accolades that courage can bring. There are different types of courage, ranging from physical  strength and endurance to mental stamina andinnovation. The below quotes demonstrate six different ways in which we define courage.Which are most relevant to you? In the last section, i present an exercise to help you define and harness your own courage.

(1)  Feeling Fear Yet Choosing to Act

“Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' 'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
Fear and courage are brothers. — Proverb
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela
There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid. — L.Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Being terrified but going ahead and doing what must be done—that's courage. The one who feels no fear is a fool, and the one who lets fear rule him is a coward. ― Piers Anthony
Courage is about doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. Have the courage to act instead of react." — Oliver Wendell Holmes

(2) Following Your Heart 

“Passion is what drives us crazy, what makes us do extraordinary things, to discover, to challenge ourselves. Passion is and should always be the heart of courage.” ― Midori Komatsu
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement speech, June 2005
To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.
 — Soren Kierkegaard
“It takes courage ... to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ― Marianne Williamson, "Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of 'A Course in Miracles'"

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Source: source
3) Persevering in the Face of Adversity
When we are afraid we ought not to occupy ourselves with endeavoring to prove that there is no danger, but in strengthening ourselves to go on in spite of the danger. — Mark Rutherford
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. — Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them — Orison Swett Marden (1850-1924)
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the   day that says I'll try again tomorrow. — Mary Anne Radmacher
“Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.” — Mark Twain

(4) Standing Up For What Is Right

Sometimes standing against evil is more important than defeating it. The greatest heroes stand because it is right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives. Such selfless courage is a victory in itself ― N.D. Wilson, Dandelion Fire
Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes — Maggie Kuhn, Social Activist
From caring comes courage. — Lao Tzu
Anger is the prelude to courage. ― Eric Hoffer

Source: source
(5) Expanding Your Horizons; Letting Go of the Familiar
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. — Lord Chesterfield
“This world demands the qualities of youth; not a time of life but a state of mind, a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetitefor adventure over the life of ease.” ― Robert F. Kennedy
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. — Anais Nin

(6) Facing Suffering  With Dignity or Faith...

 “There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” — Frank
The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. — Aristotle
Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage. — Jean Anoulh
A man of courage is also full of faith. — Marcus Tullius Cicero

Courage-Building Exercise

For this exercise, you will need a notebook and pen, as well as a quiet, uninterrupted space in which you can reflect.  
Beginning with the first definition of courage, "Feeling Afraid Yet Choosing to Act," answer the following questions:
Think of a situation as an adult when you felt afraid, yet chose to face your fear?
(a) What did you observe, think, and feel at the time? (e.g., "I saw the rollercoaster and felt butterflies in my stomach").
(b) What did you or the people around you say, think, and do to help you face your fear? (e.g., "I told myself that if little kids could go on it, so could I").
(c) At what point did your fear start to go down? How did you feel afterwards?
(d) Now think back on a situation in childhood in which you faced your fear. How was it the same or different than the first situation?
(e) Finally, think of a situation you are currently facing that creates fear or anxiety. What are you most afraid of?  (e.g., being fired if I ask my boss for a raise).
(f) Now, is there a way to apply the same skills you used in the two earlier situations to be more  courageous this situation. Remind yourself that you have these skills and have used them successfully in the past. What mental or environmental barriers stand in the way of using these skills? How can you cope with or get rid of these barriers?
Repeat this exercise over the course of a week, using each definition of courage above. On Day 7, come up with your own definition of courage that is most meaningful to you and repeat the whole exercise using this definition.

Saturday, 9 January 2016

20 Things to Remember When Rejection Hurts

Be OK with walking away…
Rejection teaches you how to reject what’s not right for you.

As you look back on your life, you will realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from someone or something you wanted, you were in fact being redirected to someone or something you needed.
Seeing this when you’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough.  I know because I’ve been there.
As soon as someone critiques, criticizes, and pushes you away – as soon as you are rejected – you find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I’m not worthy.”  What you need to realize is, the other person or situation is NOT worthy of YOU and your particular journey.
Rejection is necessary medicine; it teaches you how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so you can find the right ones that will.  It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it just means someone else failed to notice what you have to offer.  Which means you now have more time to improve yourself and explore your options.
Will you be bitter for a moment?  Absolutely.  Hurt?  Of course, you’re human.  There isn’t a soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heart break at the realization of rejection.  For a short time afterwards you will ask yourself every question you can think of…
  • What did I do wrong?
  • Why didn’t they care about me?
  • How come?
  • etc.
But then you have to let your emotions fuel you in a positive way!  This is the important part.  Let your feelings of rejection drive you, feed you, and inspire one heck of a powerful opening to the next chapter of your story.
Honestly, if you constantly feel like someone is not treating you with respect, check your price tag.  Perhaps you’ve subconsciously marked yourself down.  Because it’s YOU who tells others what you’re worth by showing them what you’re willing to accept for your time and attention.  So get off the clearance rack.  And I mean right NOW!  If you don’t value and respect yourself, wholeheartedly, no one else will either.
I know it’s hard to accept, but think about it…
All too often we let the rejections of our past dictate every move we make thereafter.  We literally do not know ourselves to be any better than what some intolerant person or shallow circumstance once told us was true.
It’s time to realize this and squash the subconscious idea that you don’t deserve any better.  It’s time to remind yourself that…
  1. The person you liked, loved or respected in the past, who treated you like dirt again and again, has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you in the present moment, but headaches and heartache.
  2. One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is when you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change, like someone else’s behavior or decisions.  (ReadLoving What Is.)
  3. Life and God both have greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or believing that you’re broken.
  4. The harsh truth is, sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller and emotionally stronger than you ever were before.
  5. It’s not the end of the world – it’s never the end of the world – and yet rejection can make the loss of someone or something you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut-wrenching and world-ending.
  6. Sometimes people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them.  And sometimes the more chances you give, the more respect you lose.  Enough is enough.  Never let a person get comfortable with disrespecting you.  You deserve better.  You deserve to be with someone who makes you smile – someone who doesn’t take you for granted – someone who won’t leave you hanging.
  7. Some chapters in our lives have to close without closure.  There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.
  8. Take a deep breath.  Inner peace begins the moment you decide not to let another person or event control your emotions.
  9. You really can’t take things other people say about you too personally.  What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you.
  10. Those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who build themselves up with the bricks others have thrown at them.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
  11. Let your scars remind you that the damage someone has inflicted on you has left you stronger, smarter and more resilient.
  12. When you lose someone or something, don’t think of it as a loss, but as a gift that lightens your load so you can better travel the path meant for you.
  13. You will never miss out on what is meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way.  Stay focused.  Be positive.
  14. Rejections and naysayers aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things; so don’t let them conquer your mind.  Step forward!  Seriously, most of us do not understand how much potential we have – we limit our aspirations to the level someone else told us was possible.
  15. Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. Don’t be one of them.  Ultimately, you are who you are when nobody’s watching.  Know this!  And dare to be yourself, however awkward, different or odd that self may prove to be to someone else.
  16. Comparing yourself to others, or other people’s perceptions, only undermines your worth, your education and your own inner wisdom.  There’s no one who can handle your present situation better than YOU.
  17. The more we fill our lives with genuine passion and purpose, the less time and energy we’ll waste looking for approval from everyone else.
  18. You CAN use your struggles, frustrations, and rejections to motivate you rather than annoy you.  You are in control of the way you look at life.  (Read 10% Happier.)
  19. Sometimes transitions in life are the perfect opportunity to let go of one situation to embrace something even better coming your way.
  20. Right now is a new beginning.  The possibilities ahead are endless.  Be strong enough to let go, wise enough to move forward, diligent enough to work hard, and patient enough to wait for what you deserve.

Afterthoughts

All details aside, you don’t need anyone’s constant affection or approval in order to be good enough in this world.  When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you.  It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs.  So you don’t have to internalize any of it!  Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent.  You exist, and therefore you matter.  You’re allowed to be yourself.  You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings.  You’re allowed to assert your needs.  You’re allowed to hold on to the truth that who you are is more than enough.  And you’re allowed to let go of anyone in your life who makes you feel otherwise.

Friday, 8 January 2016

12 Characteristics of People Who Are the Best at What They Do

Do you have what it takes to be the best?
 
January 5, 2016
What does it mean to be the best? What are the characteristics common to successful people, achievers, doers—the ones who find ways to become the very best at everything they do?
Would you pass the “Best” test?

Here are 12 questions to find out if you’ve got what it takes to rise to the top:

1. Are you an optimist?

You can't get to the top if you don't think there is a top, or if you think you can't make it. Optimists always believe things can improve or be done better. This pushes them to be their best.

2. Do you have a vision?

Visionaries can see ahead of the pack. Their eyes aren't locked on the here and now. They see the bright future and what things will look like when they reach their destiny. While working hard for today, they live for the future. They “begin with the end in mind.”

3. Do you relentlessly pursue excellence?

The status quo is not for the best. They want to experience the best and be the best. That means giving their best. They go the extra mile so that in everything they do, in everything they say and think, they are striving for excellence.

4. Do you have a lifelong habit of personal growth?

They don’t want to stay at the level they are at. They want to grow in their work, their intellect, their spirituality and their relationships— in every area of their life. And they discipline themselves to put themselves in situations where they grow. Personal growth doesn’t “just happen.” People must choose to grow.

5. Do you welcome competition?

Like the lead runners in the race with someone on their heels, the best know that the competition is right behind them. They love it because they know the competition keeps them from becoming lazy or complacent. The competition pushes them to go faster and achieve more—to remain the best by forging ahead.

6. Do you strive to be a leader?

Someone has to lead—it may as well be the best. People who become leaders get there because they want to. They want make a difference. And they want to be equipped with the skills necessary to lead others to a better place.

7. Do you leave a legacy?

Leaders aren't in it just for themselves, though they will surely reap the rewards of being the best. They build things that last beyond themselves, things that can be enjoyed by others as well. They leave a mark for future leaders to see and use.

8. Do you know how to prioritize and execute your goals?

Just like weight loss boils down to eating right and exercising, personal management boils down to prioritizing and executing. First prioritize your activities—the important stuff goes on the top. Then execute—do them. The best have habits and discipline that get them to the top, by doing the best things and doing them first.

9. Do you focus on building relationships?

Success does not come alone. Everyone who achieves greatness does it with the help of countless others. How do the best get others to help them? They treat them with respect. They embrace them. People become the best because they help other people, and people like them.

10. Do you make excuses?

When they fail, they admit it and move on. They get back up and do it right next time. They let their actions speak louder than their words. They stand tall and do it better next time. No excuses, just results.

11. Do you strive for “good” or “best?”

Yes, they could say, “This is good." But that would mean they have settled for less than the best. Many people think that good is good. Good is not good. Good is the enemy because it keeps us from the best. What will it be: good or best? The best choose the best.

12. Do you dare to dream?

While others live the mundane and settle into a life they never bargained for, a rut, the best dream of a better life. And then they take the necessary risks to achieve their dreams. They live by Teddy Roosevelt's quote: “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”
So, do you have what it takes to be the best?

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Learn To Love Mornings With These 5 Easy Rituals

Morning is my new favorite time of day — but it wasn’t always this way. I used to think I was more productive at night. I’m still getting to know mornings and my rituals, and I’m appreciating the little things, like the shadows and how different and pretty the light is as it streams through the windows. It really is special to witness.
My relationship to mornings still feels new and exciting, but it takes me a little while to actually feel awake. I try to slow things down as much as possible, avoiding technology for as long as I can while I get back into my body and find my center.
These are five rituals that help me feel calm, balanced, and ready to start the day:

1. Set your own alarm.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative
When I’m ready for sleep, I close my eyes and focus on what time I want to wake up in the morning. I set an alarm as backup, but I usually tend to rise at the time I instructed my body to awaken. This practice helps me get more in touch with the power of my mind and my intuition.

2. Make breakfast easy and complete.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative
I love a cup of Traditional Medicinal's Roasted Dandelion Root tea in my favorite mug (my mom made the mug for me; she’s a ceramic artist) in the morning. Dandelion is one of my favorite plants, and as an herbalist I love how it gently supports digestion. If I want an added immunity boost, I’ll brew a pot of the dandelion tea and add a bit of chaga mushroom that my friend Olivia harvests in Upstate New York.
For breakfast I make sure to have high-quality fat, carbohydrates, and protein. I love a medicinal smoothie — more for healing than taste. I use different combinations of food depending on what my body needs — kale, coconut oil, spinach, berries, soaked chia seeds, kefir, oats, almond milk, banana, flaxseed, tincture of echinacea — whatever I have around.
My other favorite breakfast is a bowl of kitchari topped with an egg, cilantro pesto, and a little good-quality grass-fed cheese. I make the kitchari for the entire week, keeping a big bowl in the fridge so I can easily heat it up every morning.

3. Meditate, and make it easy.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative
The daily practice of meditation is powerful and transformative. It helps my creativity and allows my brain to rest and refocus. I like to start out my day with meditation, even if it’s just for five minutes.
I light some incense, sit back in my made bed (it’s been said that making the bed is great for productivity), and meditate. There are great apps that make meditating easier; I’m a huge fan of the one by calm.com. It reminds me to meditate every day — and I love all the timer sound options: chimes, singing bowls, and a harp!
My other favorite meditation app is the Silva Method. I grew up studying the method (which uses guided imagery techniques for self-empowerment), and it has a great morning exercise routine that I love to use to start my day.

4. Bring nature into the morning in any way possible.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative
When the weather’s nice, I like to sit outside with my bare feet in the grass while sipping some hot water with lemon, apple cider vinegar, elderberry, ginger, and either a tincture of rose or echinacea. (This little ritual is even better when I’m in L.A. and can pick a fresh lemon off the tree.)
If the weather isn’t ideal, I experience nature in more creative ways — with herbal tea, the steam from dried eucalyptus hanging in my shower, or through my rose-infused moisturizing face oil. The conscious addition of nature to my morning ritual helps me slow down and feel inspired.

5. Listen to reggae music.

Photo by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative
To me, reggae is like sunshine for my body and mind. I believe it has healing properties, and it makes me feel calm and happy as I start my day. Dancing to reggae feels medicinal, promoting happiness and relaxation.
Photos by Chloe Bulpin, mbg Creative

About Jessa Blades

Jessa Blades is a makeup artist, natural beauty/wellness expert and herbalist based in Brooklyn and Los Angeles. Inspired by the idea of true healing and wellness, Jessa made the switch to natural products and founded her company Blades Natural Beauty in 2008, providing simple routines, pure products, and expert advice.